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The Woman

The woman is a collection of ironies. My observation is that an average woman is subject to a deep conflict, always. It is whether to be the person I am or to be the person that I am expected to be. A male on the other hand usually starts assuming more responsibility after an age and hence experiences individuality. At that very same age a woman shifts base from a place where she has spent 25 years of her life to a totally new place with totally new people. The comfort of familiarity no longer exists. It’s like Chapter 2 with a totally new cast.

I am reading a book called “It rained all night” by a well known Bengali literate Buddhadeva Bose. It reveals several such sensitivities and how a woman has a lot to endure and how taxing this can be on her psyche. We live in different times. Women have shed their conservativeness and fought their way up to a place where their deserved equal rights can be enjoyed. Their individuality has found voice and we see many a remarkable woman today. Though this is a healthy trend the percentage of women in India who have actually evolved is alarmingly low.

I detest stereotypes. The rebel in me says that when there is so much light why seek the shadow. To elaborate, the prototype woman is supposed to get married at some 20’s and then become in charge of the domestic side of a family. She has to have kids and look after their growing up and also be a supportive wife to the husband. This is a lot of work mind you. Women have managed this side of business remarkably well for years now without any due recognition given to them because there is no Lifetime achievement award for managing a successful family for 40 odd years. There is also another aspect. These women have successfully put a lot of things under an ever growing column called Sacrifice. We talk about careers but I think there is lot more than that. There are desires, ideas, explorations etc. There is so much self restraint and prioritization that is demanded of them. They have mastered this field of management always under the shadow of the male of the family who is more like a shareholder. His job is to bring in the money, get updates on the business and make some key decisions whose most important condition is ceteris paribus. The micro management is left to the woman who seems to be the master of this role. Why won’t she be? From the day she was born wasn’t she coached for this?

To be continued

Comments

Anonymous said…
With men, as with women, the main struggle is between vanity and comfort; but with men, comfort often wins.

And correlating...

We find comfort in those who agree with us... and growth among those who don't!!!

So men and women are meant to be by conscience and not by choice.

Aruna

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